How do you juggle the demands of a high profile career while being an exceptional mother and everything in between after divorce? In this episode, Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS)™ Jennifer Hurvitz talks to Laura Lanier, Director of Technical Assistance for a Washington, DC-based government consulting firm, as she shares why she believes that no matter what you do, divorce sucks. She dives into why you need to love your children more than you should hate your ex and why is it essential to have two different relationships with your ex-partner. Laura and Jen talk about getting back to dating and what dating apps are really like today. Learn how to find the humor in a shitty situation and how waxing can save your marriage.
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Listen to the podcast here:
Divorce Sucks No Matter What You Do With Laura Lanier
My show has a new name. It’s Doing Divorce Right (or Avoiding it Altogether). I’m glad to be here. I feel like every week, I say the same thing like, “I’m excited and happy to have this guest.” This is awesome because in the studio, I have one of my dear friends and this is rare. I’ve only had two good friends in my podcast in history and this is my third good friend, Laura Lanier. We’re going to talk about a bunch of stuff. She’s a fellow divorcee, which is grown up and shi-shi to say, but we’re both divorced. This is going to be a great podcast to get real, raw, honest and truthful about what divorce looks like and what it’s all about. She’s read my book Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda. I want to know some good juicy stuff and what she thinks. Welcome, Laura.
I’m excited to be here. Not only did I read your current book, but I read your first book, too.
I’m glad you’re here and this is strange for me because usually, I have to be all super-duper professional-ish and I’m interviewing whatever. I want to know about you.
I’m three years separated and divorced. I was married for seventeen years and have two amazing girls. I love them. I’m doing a single parenting working mom thing. I travel a ton for my job. I’m juggling life. I have a boyfriend, but I agree with all of your philosophies in staying married and I’ve read your books. As I sit in bed reading your books, I’m laughing and I’m like, “She totally nailed that one. You need to read this. This for real.”
I don’t hold back. Some people are offended and when I public speak, I say, “I’m going to offend somebody here. Be prepared,” and I feel like that’s okay.
It’s authentic. One of the whole reasons why I’m excited to do this is because when I went through my separation and my divorce, I didn’t have anybody that was part of that world. My entire universe was married people. I was desperate to connect to someone that could say, “You’re going to be okay and you’re going to get through this. It’s crappy now, but you’re going to survive.” I’ve read your books and honestly, I was like, “That’s what I was going through,” because it normalized so much for me.
I felt like if I would’ve had my books when I was going through it, I may have felt a little better. I felt that you did and I was like, “What? Why didn’t someone tell me this? Why didn’t I know this? What was I thinking?” Didn’t you feel that way, too?
One of the whole reasons we met was because I was desperate to connect with someone. I was on Google googling divorce, divorcees and divorce scrapes. I was like, “Anybody out there, please throw me your divorce life.” I found your blog and I was like, “She’s from Charlotte. I’m going to stop this woman because she is going to help me.” We have 1,000 mutual friends.
I don’t think we knew that.