Woulda.
Coulda.
Shoulda. (Pretty good name for a book if I do say so myself!) It pretty much sums up my entire life, actually. Yeah, it’s kinda sad…but I have very few regrets. (Except for that one audition I fucked up in Chicago. I really should have sung a different song.)
And maybe I regret getting divorced, too. If I knew then what I know right now, I would have done a few things differently. And really, who wouldn’t? I mean, if someone handed you a crystal ball to see into the future would you do it all again the EXACT same way…not change one single thing?
Are you nodding your head? Please. Bull. Fucking. Shit. You are full of it. And I am calling you out!
Let’s keep shit real up in here. No one is perfect and everyone has things they would change if they could go back to try again.
For me, I know that one of the things that helped me through my divorce was learning from the mistakes of others so I didn’t have to make them myself. It’s why I wrote my first book One Happy Divorce and it’s why I wrote my next book coming out in February.
I mean, if you had a book that told you all the things you should do or could do that would change your marriage (or relationship) for the BETTER, would you be brave enough to read it? Would you be ready to face the truth?
Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda: A Divorce Coach’s Guide to Staying Married is my take on how to save your marriage before you sign on the dotted line. (Basically, it’s the book I wish I had before I walked out of my own marriage six years ago.) Is it my opinion? Sure. Is it based on fact? Some. Is it going to make some people upset? I sure hope so! There is nothing I love more than shaking shit up, making people think, and making them own their shit.
Before you walk away, you really have to ask yourself some TOUGH questions:
Should I give up so soon?
Will the grass actually be greener?
What are the long-term effects a divorce will have on my kids?
(And let’s get real–I’m not talking about the “kids are resilient” crap. I’m talking about the research on the long-term impact on their emotional and physical well-being. Not the things we like to “sugar-coat” when we are going through it to make ourselves feel better or to make it all seem “okay”.)
I mean, not all of us have to be happily divorced, Y’all. Some of us can actually stay happily married and live that way for a long, long time. It just takes a lot of fucking work. (Oh, and I’m not implying you should stay in a horrible, loveless, sexless marriage with a horrific person. That ain’t the book I wrote, ok?) But if you are thinking the Divorce Grass is greener, this will be the perfect book for you! Now, who’s ready to STAY happily married? Or…be happy AFTER divorce? I got the market on them BOTH.
Xo j