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Impossible to Love

I debated writing this.

I thought about it for a long time.

In fact, I might chicken out even now…

As I type.

I might just stop, delete, and change my mind. (Should I? Nah.) It’s an important one I think.

But it hurt like hell to hear last week when it happened. So writing it now just brings up that nauseating feeling in my stomach when I heard the words coming from his mouth. But like a mom whose kid comes running home and tells a story about her best friend doing something awful, I’m just venting. I want to tell it and move on.

But the thing is, can you ever get over it? Like those little girls, those best friends. They made up so quickly and forgot all about the fight. But the mom? Fuck no. (You never really liked that little bitch again…am I right?)

So, will Y’all hold a grudge? If I tell you what he said…

Maybe I should give you the back story so you can understand why we were fighting.

Actually, we had been fighting for weeks over something totally legit. It was bad (not break-up bad) but it was pretty shitty on his part. It was a total fuck up but HE KNEW HE WAS WRONG. And people make mistakes, right? He apologized 2000 times over and over.

But here’s the thing. He couldn’t “understand why I was so upset.” So, I just couldn’t get over it. An apology is not really an apology if it’s followed by a “but”. (Not to be confused with a butt.) You can’t say,”I’m sorry Jen…but I don’t understand why you’re upset.” WTF is that?

After ten months of dating, why did he not get it?