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Life Goes On

I am a mother.

I am scared.

I am worried.

I am angry.

And I am entitled to my opinion.

I am also educated enough to know that my opinion is only an opinion and while it is what I believe it may not be correct. And I also understand that what I believe is not what you may believe, or the guy next to you…or my boyfriend. Or his Aunt. Or her friend. And YOU might not be correct. It’s called an opinion for a reason, y’all. And because I live in the United States of America I am lucky enough to be able to state my opinion whenever and however I see fit. It’s called Freedom of Speech, as you know…and because I just so happen to write a blog, I plan on voicing my OPINION right here.

Aren’t I lucky?

And I’m not sure there is anything more powerful than an angry, scared Mother with a blog. 

We all know the facts.

We have read the news, watched the story unfold…heard the details. Over and over. The horrifying, unimaginable events that took place that day, last week. Some of us are obsessed with them; unable to pull away from the television. The internet. Like a car crash, you watch because you just can’t stop yourself. You don’t want to see the disaster on the side of the road, but you can’t help it. You stop. You look. You shutter. Even if it’s through hands in front of your face…you still just have to see. And then you drive on, away from the wreck on the road.

It is left behind you, and life goes on as normal.

Did you feel sorry for the family hurt in the crash? Of course. Was it horrible, and sad? Rhetorical. Did you even think about stopping to help? Sure, for a minute. Maybe it crossed your mind. But no. Why get involved. Why? It’s not your problem; the EMS will come…they will all be ok. And you drive on home to your family safe and sound. And the next day you hear from neighbors that the little girl in the wreck was killed and the mom is in a coma. Omg. How awful. You can’t even believe it! It didn’t look that bad. You feel sick to your stomach, and pick up your cell phone to text a friend or two. Should you make dinner and take it over to the house? Nah, too much trouble. After all, they probably have enough help. You go to the laundry room and fold the clothes in the dryer.

Life goes on as normal.

I’m sure you get my analogy; it’s the sad and shitty truth. On Wednesday of last week, Nikolas Cruz shot up a school and killed 17 people. Children and others…and today, my life goes on as normal. Sure, I talked about it with my Mom for a bit, we had a conversation about a speech Obama made on his way out of office. Smart guy, love him. I will not quote him exactly right, but he said something to the effect that,”It’s not about taking away the guns from responsible gun owners, but we need to make more stringent laws to purchase them.” And did y’all know that Congress will not allow the CDC even to study gun violence? Ya. Great. Well, this was the time I spent talking about the shooting today.

Then, my life went on as normal.

My kid got braces, I went grocery shopping…and I fought with my boyfriend. What do you think the parents of those dead children did today? Are their lives going on as normal? Will they ever? I am crying as I type; Some might call me dramatic and over emotional. Fuck you. I’m a mother, and I’m pissed. I want this shit to stop. I want my kids to be safe at school, and I want to make promises and be able to keep them. When my boys look me in the eyes and ask,”Mom, is our school safe from all this shit?” I want to be able to answer with one-hundred percent conviction,”Yes.” But I can not do it. Can you? Nah. And if you said yes then you’re a fucking liar. And as long as there are guns available to people who should not be using them our kids will NEVER BE SAFE.

I do not have the answers, but I do have the right to ask questions. And I do have enough wherewithal to know that a weapon in the hands of a lunatic is a problem, a big fucking problem. And why should our children have to suffer because you assholes can’t just deal with a few fucking gun laws? We have rules for everything! We buckle up, so we don’t die, there’s a drinking age for a reason…the speed limit saves millions of lives a year. What the fuck is wrong with putting a few fucking laws in place to make sure this shit stops? Thank god you can’t answer right now because I don’t want to hear your big fat mouths say stupid shit. Get rid of the AR-15s and automatic weapons! ALL OF THEM from ordinary civilians and leave them in the hands of the SWAT and Police Forces. The guys who know what they’re doing! What do you all even need an AR-15 for anyway? Omg. No. Just NO!

So let’s see, I wrote a blog. I made dinner (pizza), and now I’m snuggling with the boys. My life goes on as normal. Until the next asshole decides to shoot up a school, with an AR-15 because we all decided just to sit around and let life go on…as normal?

This isn’t even close to normal, and it won’t be until we get our shit together and fix it.

But life will still go on.

xo j

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