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Love Thy Self…Even When it Doesn’t Make Much Sense

I am ok.

I am relieved.

I am beyond grateful.

I woke up Monday from the anesthesia to hear the incredible news from the doctor, ”You are okay, Jennifer. It is not cancer. You are fine.”

My body is fine…but my head is not.  

I started to cry. Obviously, I was beyond relieved that the news was good. I mean, I have spent the last three weeks stressing.



Up every night thinking the worst.

After all, I was told I had a fucking tumor in my stomach. I didn’t make that shit up. I didn’t leave the last procedure mishearing the doctor or read the test results that were given to me on my discharge papers wrong. I didn’t do Google search after Google search on “gastric tumors” for shits and giggles.

My family has been through hell, my kids have been so worried. This whole ordeal has been a long month of waiting and wondering. 

So while my body is “fine” clearly, my mental state is not.