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Navigating the Dating Scene with Adult Kids: Overcoming Challenges and Finding Love

Hey there! So, when we reach middle age, finding love can get complicated, right? Especially when we've got adult kids in the picture. Maybe you're just coming out of a marriage you felt was about the kids. You might be resentful, thinking, "Hey, isn't it my turn to live MY life now?" I get where you're coming from. You sacrificed a lot, staying in a marriage without love or intimacy, all for your children's happiness and that picture-perfect family life until they flew the nest for college.

Alright, congratulations! (she remarks with sarcasm.)

Your kids didn't ask you to stay in your marriage for them. It was most likely a lot of love, a pang of guilt, and a smidge of terror. Trust me, I was there.

But It was your call, so don't punish them by diving head-first into a new relationship with someone you barely know. Even though they're "adults" and might be out of your house, they're still kids and have BIG feelings that matter.

Don't kill the messenger! I'm just stating the facts here; I'm spot on. ;)

How to Navigate the Challenges of Dating with Adult Kids

We're talking about the ins and outs of dating with adult children. It's not as simple as you may think! We will navigate the challenges, gracefully sidestep any obstacles, and share valuable tips to enhance your dating experience. Get ready to elevate your dating game - it's time to kick off this dating adventure!

When embarking on dating later in life, it's essential to consider its impact on your adult children. Open communication is critical to ensuring that your pursuit of love does not overshadow the dynamics within your family. Understanding and addressing their concerns with empathy can pave the way for a smoother transition into this new chapter of your life. Please don't assume that everything is "fine" simply because they are not expressing their emotions verbally. FYI: they don't want you to be unhappy, most adult kids will never share how they truly feel. Quiet kids = upset kids. It's best to ask questions and give your children a safe space to share.

Overcoming Dating Challenges

Dating with adult kids can present various challenges, from introducing a new partner to managing time between your children and your love life. Finding a balance that works for everyone involved is crucial. Remember, your happiness matters too, and finding a partner who respects and understands your family dynamics is vital. Read that again- being with a new partner who respects your boundaries and allows you to put your kids first is the only option.

And don't forget to prioritize your kids, even when they're pretty independent. It can be easy to overlook that they still might rely on us or want quality time when they return from school.

Essential Dating Tips

To make the dating journey more enjoyable and successful, here are some practical tips:

  • Prioritize Communication: Keep an open and honest line of communication with your children and potential partners.

  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy balance between your family life and romantic pursuits.

  • Introduce Your Partner Wisely: When right, introduce your partner to your adult children in a neutral and comfortable setting and expect some push-back.

  • Respect Individual Perspectives: Understand that not everyone may be entirely supportive initially, and that gives them space to adjust.

  • Enjoy the Process: Embrace this new phase of your life with optimism and a sense of adventure. Dating should be fun!

  • Validate Adult Kid's Feelings: Don't dismiss them if your adult kids share feelings that you don't want to hear or that might cause you "problems" with your new relationship. Try to put yourself in their shoes.


Navigating the dating scene as a mom with adult kids may have its challenges, but finding love is entirely possible with understanding, patience, and the right approach. Remember, your happiness and fulfillment are just as important now as ever. Embrace this journey with confidence and authenticity.

Happy and Healthy Dating!

xo j

jennifer hurvitz and her kids
jennifer and her sons

Are you looking for more insights and tips on dating with adult kids? I've got you covered! Feel free to connect with my Doing Relationships Right community for support and guidance on this exciting chapter of your life.


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