Everyone who’s been in a relationship surely has experienced either wanting to go back to an ex, or has an ex throwing out signs that they want to come back in your life. Knowing which signs to look out for will make sure you’re not caught off guard and are able to make rational decisions. Jennifer Hurvitz and her real-life partner, Jim Healey, talk about the five signs that will indicate an ex-lover wants to come back. Using their personal experiences with break ups and gett
Kids love me. All kids. There is not a kid in the world that doesn’t. Look, do you know a kid? Put them in front of me and see if they love me. (No. Forget it. I already can tell you…they DO.) All children think I’m the most amazing human being ever known to man. Except for my boyfriend’s kids. They. Hate. Me. It’s ok, he knows. And he feels terrible about it…I guess. I mean what can he do? He can’t make them like me, Y’all. Of course, he says they do like like me, that they
You swiped right. You buzzed your butt off. You matched with the best of them. And sure, you had some great dates, met a few nice guys. You even had a couple four-month stints. But you’ve also had a bunch of the worst dates known to all mankind. You know what I’m talking about. There was the guy who licked your face and the one that threw up at the table. And then there was the one that gave you the check because he had, ”Googled your ex.” (What a fucker.) And oddly enough,
Millennials You Suck! (I think I’m about to lose my job. Those damn Millennials!) They’ve finally started doing something right! Yes, you heard me. I just got done reading an article that my Dad sent me from Bloomberg. Because of you pesky Millennials, the divorce rate is dropping! I can’t even believe it after all the annoying shit you do to piss me off…you’ve finally started doing something right! (Wait, am I a Millennial? No, ages 27-35. So close!) I should be clear that I
I sat there watching. Boy, was it sad. It looked so…. Well, painful. No, it wasn’t just painful, it looked flat-out disastrous. It was like watching a terrible horror film with your hands over your eyes or a car wreck…You know like you don’t want to watch it but you just can’t help yourself. Yasss. That is what I witnessed last night as I sat next to the most uncomfortable first-date I have ever seen. And how did I know it was the WORST date ever? Well, she was curled up into
Today I was in the shower. You know it’s where I do my best thinking. I thought about when I was single. Not like it was sooo long ago…but it’s been some time now that I’ve been in a relationship. But today while I was shampooing my hair, I started thinking about how I used to get all dolled up and sit in Starbucks all day. (Whatever! No judgment. I used to write and stuff!) I would go in the morning and sit. I’d look all cute with my sexy-specs and just tap away on the lapto
Swipe. Buzz. Match. Over 40. Jewish. Or African-American. Not too tall. Long-term, no short-term. Yes, I like dogs. No, not bald. Wait! I do like them bald. I like my men bald, but no cats. I hate pussies. No, wait…I love pussy, I just hate pussy CATS. I won’t date a guy with a cat but I will date a guy with a bald dog. Holy fuck is this a shit show or what? I have no idea what I just wrote, but it sounded like a dating profile I just threw together in about 3.2 seconds the o
You met for dinner.
He ate with his fork.
Even spoke in full sentences.
Then, it happened… He paid the bill. Oh. My. God. You actually found a guy you want to date? Yes! He’s a good one…and it’s only been six months, three weeks, two days and five hours. (But who’s counting?) You like him and he’s attractive, smart, AND witty. He checks off all your non-negotiables just like your dating coach talked about (hint-hint). But now what? There are rules, lady! Just like men make
I wrote this already. I did. The night before the Atlanta Comedy Film Festival. I wrote this blog… I’m serious. I wrote this exact blog for when I lost. And the winner is….not me. I know, I know. It was dumb. And insecure of me. Why would I write a blog before I even knew the results of the festival? Shit. It’s the same reason I read the last page of a book when I first buy it. Or the reason I’d tell my mom I failed a math test before I got the results back. Or why I always a
I went in to buy a bracelet. Or a new necklace. Maybe a pair of earrings? Shit, I’m lying.. I went in to get something to wear for a party I have this weekend, ok? Whatever, I went into the store today to shop; I never expected anything like this to happen. I was walking around the table covered with the prettiest, shiniest things…circling it like a shark. Waiting for something to jump out at me so I could snatch it up! When all of a sudden the most lovely little thing said,”
I wish I hated him. Or he did something shitty. Or he was mean. I wish he cheated on me… Or said hurtful words, was disrespectful or unkind. Then maybe this breakup would make sense. Maybe it would be less painful. I’d be able to eat and sleep. I’d stop crying. Ya. Maybe if he was a horrible human being, this break up would be a piece of cake. But he’s not. He is my best friend. And he’s wonderful. And I’m probably going to love him for as long as I live. In fact, maybe even
I’m sorry Y’all… I’ve just been so busy! I’m publishing my first book! “One Happy Divorce – Hold the Bullshit!” Finally, it’s really happening. My very first book. It is real, I did it. Well, I’m doing it. I have the most incredible group of women working in my corner…they are sharp, and smart. All helping me get it done. It’s going to be dropping soon and I’m excited. Excited, and scared. Nervous! But above all else, I am proud. I am proud of me. And at (almost) forty-five y
And gloomy… Pretty gross out today. Perfect for driving. NOT. So, of course…I’m only that much more freaked out as I watch Jonah drive away in the Prius with the STUDENT DRIVER sign on the top. Oh fuck. Not only do I officially have a kid old enough to be driving, in two weeks he’s starting high school. I can’t stop crying. In fact, I haven’t stopped crying for days. I’m filled with so many emotions. But why? Is it because Jonah is growing up so fast, or that I am? I’m turnin
I have an addiction. I try to hide it. Convince myself it’s a non-issue. But the first step is admitting… So, I’m here to tell the world. I know y’all are assuming it’s Starbucks. Or online shopping! Smoking in my garage when I’m alone or drinking too much wine? Fuck no. I wish. But my addiction is much bigger than all of those things combined. Hell, it’s bigger than ME. And it affects so many other women across our nation. I am not alone, others feel my pain; understand the
I’m sorry! I know, I know… But I’ve been busy. Life has gotten in the way of well… Life. And I’ve been writing for some pretty kick-ass publications! I’m on BLUNTMoms, and SuburbanMisfitMoms. And in the Charlotte Observer! Jesus. I’m legit. Like who woulda thunk it? After three years of writing, I’d actually get paid for spewing my crap. Ha. Well, I only have you all to thank. So, well…thanks. Thank you, from the bottom of my Hurvitz heart. I have a big one, ya know. A super,
We matched on Bumble. We chatted for two days. We exchanged numbers. We texted for “real” on the phone. We had an actual speaking conversation for fuck sake…it was like we knew each other for years! He said all the right things. I was über witty. We continued texting on and off for a week and even scheduled a date at a hot spot uptown. Then, the night before we were supposed to meet..NOTHING. The douche goes black. And when I say black, I don’t mean he decided to take his cof