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I Refuse to Throw in the Towel

I have a tough time taking compliments.

When people say nice things I never can just say, ‘Thanks”.

I always put myself down, or say something like, “Smoke and mirrors”.

Then after I say it, I wish that I didn’t. I wish so, so badly that I could just say something like, “Ya, I’m rocking it! Thanks!” But I can’t. It’s just not me. And I think that’s ok, right? To just keep being humble when all of this goodness is finally happening around me.


Not sure if most of you know how hard this journey has truly been for me. Social media paints such a pretty, perfect picture when the reality is that I’ve struggled.

I’ve heard “no” more than a flat chick in a strip club. But I keep going because I’m horrified. I’m honestly so terrified that if I quit, the next day will be the day. Ya know, THE day that I get my big break. The big call…or the big award. A producer will call from LA and want my pilot or Ellen will want me on her show! But each day that I hear a “no” or I get bad news or something fantastic falls through I want to throw in the towel, but I don’t. I can’t. I won’t.


Because there’s a carrot dangling in front of me.

The TV pilot wins a film festival. Or the book ends up on Or, I book a flipping insane gig across the country. I want to cry I’m so tired (sometimes I do) and my kids want their SAHM back. I try to live in the moment but it’s impossible when you’re always trying to reach the next number or attain the next goal.

I get emails, messages and texts with the kindest, most supportive words. I have the best “fans”. I try to return every single message. I love sharing my successes on Facebook and Instagram…there’s nothing better than taking y’all along for this crazy-ride. (And these next few months are only going to get crazier!)

I guess I just want to say thank you and let you know I appreciate you. For buying my books, listening to my podcast and lifting me up with your positivity when you didn’t even know I needed it.

I am exhausted and overwhelmed but so excited to finally be in the place I’ve always dreamed I’d be. And it’s funny when I did fantasize about being “big and famous” one day, it wasn’t as an author or a writer selling tons of books or as podcaster with millions of listeners. It was speaking in front of people, sharing my story and making a difference. Sigh. I’m finally doing this, guys. I am! So, stay tuned for more of me and if you get annoyed, sorry…

Just mute me. But don’t turn me off, you’ll miss something BIG! 😉

Xo j

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