Can’t live with them.
Can’t live without them.
Men.
But we can train them! (I kid…kinda.)
Seriously, don’t you think we can just give them a little help so they don’t lose a great girl, offend an amazing woman…or turn-off a kick-ass catch? The answer is YES! (After all, that is my job, y’all.)
And why you ask am I the person to talk about dating mistakes men make? Well, because I have the one thing that so many dating and relationship coaches lack.
I have actually DATED a shitton of men and I’m not ashamed to talk about it. In fact, I’m proud to admit I’ve been through hell and survived. Ok, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but you get my drift.
Dating is tough; divorce is tougher. I can say this because I’ve experienced both.
You can’t have a coach that has never played in a game. A dance teacher who has never danced a step. You can’t have a divorce coach that has never been through a divorce or a marriage counselor that has never been married! How dumb is that?
So why would you ever trust a dating coach who hasn’t been on dates? Yeesh. I have been on many. Good and bad. I have done it…and I’ve survived it, people. (Battle wounds and all.)
So, let’s get to this, shall we? For the ladies, I started with my 6-Steps to Online Dating Success After Divorce. But now, I’m moving on to those common dating mistakes men make all the time. (Hey! No offense fellas.)
Dating Mistakes Men Make
1. You waste too much time. You match, you chat, you meet. Plain and simple. There is no need to talk for days. If you click on-line (pun intended) then hop off fast…and meet in person. So men…make the move NOW! If you have too much time between the talk and the date, there is too much time for error.
2. You don’t keep it classy. I don’t care how much you like this girl–there is NO reason on God’s green earth to be talking about bj’s and va-jay-jays before you meet! (Or at the meet. Or after the meet.) Seriously, wait awhile, guys. Have a little class and show some respect, please. And no woman likes a dick-pic. #trustme
3. You don’t choose your words carefully. Guys, let me give you a piece of advice: Think before you text. Choose your words wisely when you are first reaching out. Don’t say stupid shit that makes her push delete before you get a chance to make a first impression. Don’t use phrases like,”Hey beautiful”, or “Love your big-ass…smile.” (Oh, puke.) Try something clever or witty. Something that doesn’t relate to a physical attribute but rather a tangible one. Hey, how about this,”Hi! I’m totally into disco dancing too, as long as it doesn’t involve disco music or dancing!” Bet that gets her laughing! Or, actually READ her profile and mention something from it. Show her that you actually invested the time to learn a bit about her.
4. Don’t make your life a circus act. Think you can juggle multiple women, boys? (Yeah, of course, you do!) But I promise you will crash and burn. Date number one will be fabulous and date number two will text during it….and date number three will wonder where you were from 6pm-11pm on Sunday when you usually text her all night but now you’ve “gone dark”. All those balls flying in the air! Trust me the only one with the balls is you, for even trying to pull that bullshit in the first place. One girl at a time, Bozo.
5. Don’t become Mr. Invisible. You met a girl and didn’t like her–it happens! But instead of telling the TRUTH, you decide to GHOST her. Just like that, you vanish from her life never to be heard from again. You know what I call that in my world? A fucking pussy. Man up and be honest. Everyone deserves closure. Be kind. Be respectful. Be honest. Then be a mensch and tell her it was nice to meet her and you enjoyed making a new friend. Didn’t your Momma raise you better?
6. Be a stand-up guy. Seriously, pay the bill. Don’t be a shithead. If you don’t, do NOT expect a second date. I tell all my clients if a guy doesn’t insist on at least paying for the first check whether it’s coffee, drinks, or a night at the theatre…he is done like the dinner he should’ve paid for. (Later, loser.)
xo,
Jen