You swiped right.
You buzzed your butt off.
You matched with the best of them.
And sure, you had some great dates, met a few nice guys. You even had a couple four-month stints. But you’ve also had a bunch of the worst dates known to all mankind.
You know what I’m talking about. There was the guy who licked your face and the one that threw up at the table. And then there was the one that gave you the check because he had, ”Googled your ex.” (What a fucker.)
And oddly enough, you’ve only been single for three whole years. All in a day’s work! Bravo, you’re a dating dynamo! Well, actually, you were married for ten, separated for one, and “legally” divorced for three…but who’s counting?
And now, somehow, you are single for the very first time in 15 years?
Holy Shit, single?
Yes, single, and fucking bitter as hell.
So, here’s a news flash for ya: no guy wants to date a BITCH that hates all men.
Want my advice? (It’s free so I think you should take it.) Time to shut shit down and be by yourself for a while. Yup. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to take a break from dating, and it is more than okay to own your shit and just say, “I need to STOP and breathe. I am getting too angry to start a healthy relationship.”
Men are attracted to positivity. Period. They love a woman who shows up happy and loving life. Not a crabby-bitch that is still pissed from her last Bumble blow-out. If you are taking your baggage from previous dates or relationships and carrying it into the new one, it is time to close up shop.
Single is not a bad thing, girls… It is okay to be alone.
Just take a break, sit your ass on the couch and learn to love yourself.
It’s okay to be alone. It actually brings out the feeling of longing. It allows you to feel loneliness, which lets you know you are human and want to be wanted. Do you get it? Let yourself feel again! Stop jumping from relationship to relationship searching for a “space filler.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with shutting down all your dating apps and taking a break.
Find your happy again. Rediscover your smile. Trust me it is there, somewhere buried under all that bullshit and negativity. You are tired and fed-up, I get it. Dating should be fun and enjoyable, not a chore. And if you are not finding it exciting and a means of adult conversation and meeting new people, then you should not be partaking.
Be on your own.
All that dating has taught you what you don’t want…but how about what you DO? You’ve obviously dated the wrong guys (or you’d be in a thriving, happy relationship). But what do the right ones even look like? Take the time by yourself to answer these questions honestly, and authentically.
Make a list of non-negotiables and be specific and deliberate. Write down exactly what you are looking for in your next relationship. Put it away for when you get back out there.
Also, take the time to do some soul-searching. Do you have things that need tweaking? Maybe you are not an active listener or you dominate the conversation. It’s time to do some self-work while you’re taking a Tinder time out. I for one am a huge fan of self-awareness and doing the work I need to better myself. (Coaches need coaching, too.) And shit, I dated half of Charlotte before I found my soulmate!
This takes time and lots of patience.
It’s okay to be alone–think of the perks. You get to watch what you want on TV, eat whatever the hell you want…and fart! Omg, You can FART anytime you want! That is the best reason to be alone, ladies. Being able to fart. Haha.
Xo j