I am obsessed with Howard Stern. What? It’s a new thing, and I can’t stop listening to him. I love him. I want to be him when I grow up…and truthfully I’d do just about anything to get on his show.
With that said, this morning he did this “montage” that made me laugh so hard, I cried. Tears were running down my face; I almost got in an accident. Even the boys were laughing! I shit you not; the man is a genius. This montage was of all the things he hates. I’m chuckling just thinking about it. He called it the “Montage of Things I Hate,” duh. So, I feel the need to steal this from him; surely he won’t mind. Howard, do you care? Ha.
Although he did a quick-cut-pieced-together bit, one “I hate” after another…mine will be here on the blog. One day, maybe I’ll have my very own podcast! But for now, it’s here. And it will not be as funny I can tell you that right now! But it will be fun for me. And that’s honestly all that counts. I’m as excited as a pig in shit to spew all my HATES here on The Truth Hurvitz! Omg, this is a fucking dream come true! And don’t you dare take any of this personally, or be writing me nasty-ass comments that I’m an asshole or you think I’m a bitch for saying I hate cats or I that I’m a douche because I hate late people. I can do whatever I want; this is my blog.
If you want to say what you hate, start writing your own.
Or better yet, keep it to yourself. I hate me a copy-cat.
WHAT I HATE (THE TRUTH HURVITZ STYLE!)
I hate exercise. I hate sweating. I hate being cold; Or hot. I hate being sweaty from being hot; Or shivering from being cold. I hate being outside. I hate camping. I hate being dirty. I hate green foods. I hate lime. I hate cats. I hate politics. I hate moms that hit their kids in public. I hate the dentist. I hate underdone chicken. I hate the DMV. I hate Ohio State. (Oh, I’m sorry I forgot the “THE.”) I hate Lilly P. I hate numbers. And math. I hate entitlement. I hate overthinking. I hate late people. I hate men that lie. I hate women that can’t be happy for other women. I hate when my kids leave the empty milk carton in the fridge. I hate warm avocado. I hate death. I hate sci-fi. I hate social media. I hate expired coupons. I hate being misunderstood. I hate missing the trash can. I hate cleaning for the cleaning lady. I hate my ass. I hate feeling stupid. I hate chalk. I hate disappointing others. I hate the word, “no.”
And really, if you must know I absolutely, positively hate the word “HATE.” I fucking hate it. In fact, when I was little we weren’t allowed to say it in our house. Nope! Not to each other, and not about a thing. Hating anything is just so, well..negative. It’s such a strong word. Maybe you dislike something passionately, or you feel that it’s not your cup of tea. But hate? Yeesh. I mean I don’t really HATE cats, people. Sure, I don’t want them around me. Or in my house or next to my person. But I don’t HATE them. I do, however, hate snakes. Dammit, I forgot snakes!
Hating just breeds hatred.
But boy was Howard Stern funny this morning with that “hate montage”. And I just felt like being a hater today too. I think it’s ok to share what you hate with those you love if you remember that hating is well, hateful. And don’t take yourself too seriously! I just hate having to explain myself. 😉
xo j